It's been a year since my last post. A crazy and intense year of living in New York city.
The truth is that I've always wanted to be a writer. The problem has always been my belief that there's no way that I could ever make a living as one.
This belief is buttressed by these two questions:
- Who would pay me?
- What would I write about?
I don't have complete answers to those questions, but I don't feel like I need them to pursue writing as a career and a lifestyle.
Goodbye, New York, Revisited
What I do need is stability and time. For that, I have to leave New York(again – at least this time it's by choice), and move back into my parents' Dallas, Texas home. I need time and space to conduct what I'll call "writing experiments" and I need to move to have those things.
I moved to New York on accident. I originally came for 10 weeks to attend the School for Poetic Computation. I didn't plan to stay in New York, but I met a woman, and I fell for her – hard.
It didn't work out.
Almost two years later, I've worked a series of stimulating but exhausting freelance gigs and now live in a charming, little one-bedroom apartment in Ridgewood, Queens. My lease is up in June. I'm living off of savings right now and I don't intend to get a job or book any freelance gigs. I've been spending my time reading books(spirituality, start-ups, music biographies) and doing yoga and meditating.
After two super-intense years in this manic city, I've learned that I need to focus on the one thing that I am truly called to do: writing. I don't know what I'll write about exactly or for whom but it seems to be one of the few things I enjoy doing, besides yoga, making music, and cooking. Learning to program has been a love/hate thing.
Also, I need to focus on writing not only because I enjoy doing it, but also because I am hardly employable, for many reasons. Mostly, I am spoiled from freelancing for the last 10 years. I cherish my autonomy and I know that no one will pay me even half of what my freelance rates have been as a freelance cameraman. Second, I've never left full-time or even part-time employment on good terms. I'm o.
To put it in the most dramatic terms: the ships have been burned and I must fight my way back to Alexandria.
Going forward, I intend to write every day and to publish to this blog at least twice per week. Maybe some of that writing will eventually become a book. I published my first and only book(so far) on Amazon in 2016 and I think I could do a much better job on my second attempt.
I know that I'll essentially be shouting into the void at first with regards to blogging but I'm alright with that. I know that building an audience takes time and blogging regularly is a good way for me to organize my thoughts and document what I'm thinking as it occurs.
In the past two years, I've been exposed to a lot of new ideas and interests.
Here are some things I plan to write about:
- Critiques of startup culture and digital nomadism
- How technology is changing the way that people relate to each other
- Web app ideas that help and empower people
- Mushrooms. Radical Mycology. The healing properties of mushrooms.
- Dealing with depression and pent-up trauma holistically
- How men can constructively process their emotions
- Tiny houses and alternative dwellings
- Being a nomad. Living out of a sprinter van and abroad
- Leading a full, healthy solitary lifestyle
- A little column I'll call "Confessions of a Failson"
New Projects in 2018
On moving back to my hometown, there's actually a lot of things I want to do. I don't know how long I intend to stay, but it's probably as long as it takes to build a business that supports a lifestyle in which I am able to travel and work on passion projects.
Brief List of New Things:
- Start writing songs again(I've been trying again, recently)
- Learning how to code. Mostly to build web apps and MVPs for start-up ideas that I have
- I want to start a walking podcast. Myself and a guest take an hour-long walk-and-talk. Inspired bc I love walking and also from reading Walter Isaacson's bio of Steve Jobs and how Steve preferred taking walks to having meetings.
To sum it all up, I'm moving back to Dallas because, at 32 years old, I'm tired of living in precarity. With the resources I'll have in Dallas, I plan to build a business or two that affords me a decent middle-class lifestyle. Maybe even more than that.